"Escape from the Rest"

Sometimes I just enjoy sitting or standing outside of my house around 6pm. Thats generally when the sun decides to set,encumbered by beautiful hues of the sky, I sit or stand restlessly gazing at its beauty and definitely, His beauty. Today was one of those days. I ponder on how small I am and how big He is and what creative intelligence had the brain faculties to create something so vast and so dreadfully beautiful as the sky. I figure everytime I'm overwhelmed with life,He created the sky for me to ponder on. Then suddenly, my rushing thoughts are interrupted by something else so small.
Birds ruffle through the lineages of street lights and electrical wires towered by electric poles. From the entire flock of birds, one wanders around aimless or not, I cant decipher nor why it would choose to seclude itself from the rest of the crowd. Afterall, the other birds meander not too far from it. I am sure birds have the ability to see well too. Whether their brains make well enough connections with their eyes,like humans do, I have yet to discover. The one stray bird incessantly chirps. His shrill chirps make no difference if any for the other birds nearby to realise what signal he is creating if any at all. Chirping till out of breath his lungs and tongue see no giving up. I watch him reminded of myself in many life situations. I could relate to this tiny thing so well. Sometimes all I feel like im doing is chirping to the top of my lungs for someone to hear my voice in this huge world. I hope that my screams are big enough for them to hear and without second guessing, I continue louder and louder until someone turns their head to recognise me. Through titles or not, little acknowledgments are all this chirping girl needs. Psychologists and theorists purport that the reason for an individual's need for support, attention and affection is often underlined by a lack of affection,approval or safety provided by parentals/guardians when in childhood and younger. When these are not met,the child begins to develop 'anxiety' other known as insecuity, fear and mistrust you name it in the adult or parent.
While I understand the reasons behind my need for approval and affection and quite frankly agree with these theorists,no theorists attempts to reveal when this condition would break away from the individual. Not to say psychology is grim, in fact, I have no known studies on whether the condition would go away so maybe there is a day that psychologists say this thing would eventually lapse into a collosal bubble of oxygen emitted into space.
In the meantime, it hurts knowing no one seems to be able to support this period in my life but maybe it's the way He wants things for now. Just me and Him.Him and this one little bird. Void of meaning,acknowledgement and affection. These things can only come from Him though so here I am, waiting. His little bird chirping to Him and for Him,not for the other birds around. Whatever size and colour bird you are, may you too learn to enjoy the "escape" from the rest.


Dig Deeper:
"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."-Luke 12:7


In grace,
Kesara