Tagged

When I'm often tagged within an event of some sort on the infamous social networking site, it's inconceivable to think I would ever get offended. The people who get offended are ninety year old grandmas who take no pleasure of young people associating themselves together. What would a ninety something year old be doing on facebook anyways? I have no answer to this musing and I am almost certain the next will not have any answers lest I confess my true thoughts and feelings to the individuals who do in fact do the tagging. Nevertheless, woe is me, here I stand offended. Not at the ridiculous events im tagged in, au contraire,for the events that are church-ridden.
Recently I experienced what it meant to be a real counselor at camp. I even had a trainee with me which was pretty awesome, especially for my ego and while the experience was well spent, I realise how much I do go unoticed by others...by the real people you want to simply fling you a stare,a pat on the back, a promotion. When the progression of church events are unraveled and the events are posted on the networking site,it only brings me sadness when I see my name heedlessly flung into the tagged names as the last person there,if not the second to last. My immediate thought when I see this, is : "are they doing this because they almost forgot about my existence?" I quickly glance up to catch the name of the person who created the event so I could question my relationship status with them. Despite my attempt to dismantle the lies, the theories, there is no avail, there is no two ways about it. I settle believing that the individual forgot about me and does not see my value. I carefully make this assumption after realising that all the closer people to me were tagged way before me. My name stands there, amongst a host of unknown names who I am not familiar with to close off the list of tagged names. I really despise this. Peoples actions and behaviours are often a result of what was going on internally. If this is the case, I have to ask myself what I did to cause them to think of me less...or more. Albeit, it reminds me of elementary school instances where I was picked last to be on any team. Not because I carried some extra baggage (of which I oddly didnt) like many other kids,but because I simply needed to be taught how to play all Canadian sports, and by George, play these sports,well. Having parents who only spoke one language didnt help either,especially with two parents from Trinidad where P.E. is never taken seriously.
As much as I dislike confrontation as an individual,the phase of being picked last discontinued once I told my close friends how it hurt me people did that and I cried about it. I had the best friends a girl could ever ask for. Where I find myself now with always being tagged last, should I cry about it? Tell the individuals about it or just ignore it completely? If theres anything Hes teaching me these days, it's that I depend on Him alone for everything,with the semester at a close, im grateful He helped me become a psychology graduate and that my perfect job awaits me and He knows what it entails. I resort to the fact that I would depend on Him too with this situation. Though through their lens,my value is worth nothing,full with wry. To Him, though, "special" is the place I hold in His heart (or so said the prophet). I prefer hold the place of "special" in Gods eyes, than valuable or not by people and I am assured those quiet times with Him are infinitely more valuable than being tagged or appreciated by any other person.

Dig Deeper:
^"17The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing"-Zeph.3:17